just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
