3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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