then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
