She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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