margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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