I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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