He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize