just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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