did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you traded sex for a burrito?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
