Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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