We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
