The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
