He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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