Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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