Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
