so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
