Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
