he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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