Quick, to the slutcave!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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