he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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