We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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