Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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