I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You're like the curious george of whores
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
