Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
