i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
