the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
