So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
