all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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