She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
