I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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