Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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