Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
