i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Randomize
