i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
