think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
