hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
whose ass print is on the piano?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
