you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
