I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
