yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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