Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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