I puked a lego.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
