they said they heard you say put it in my butt
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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