I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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