I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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