How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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