So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
