I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
