Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
