Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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