CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
