Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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