Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
